Crying Inside........

I have been really worried about my life lately. I have a best friend, Candy who, December 8th, is moving to Italy. And I am going to miss her so much. The worst part is that when they move from Italy, they won't even be living in Ohio anymore. Just to clarify, her husband is in the navy, based in Naples, Italy. Its realy a great oppurtunity for her and I am so happy that she found someone to be with forever and yes I had a part in getting them together, But how did I know that she was gonna go and move to Italy!! It's just something we will have to work through. She has been my best friend for 6 years. When you have someone who is always there that you have counted on for such a long time then it is really hard to live without them being there everytime you turn around.

But I'm trying to be really strong so she feels excited abouit moving over there instead of sad about leaving.

"Keep the ones you love close, you can lose them at any minute."

Answers........

I recently discovered my answers to the questionsI posed in my last post. Anything you think of everyday, can't live without, and are weaker in everything you do when its not around, is worth going the distance for (as cliche as it sounds). The fact that I have someone in my life that would do anything for me and that I feel so secure around is just another blessing in my life. The meaning of life is still a little vague but I now know that even though we don't know the meaning, I know we are meant to be on this Earth for someone. So when you find it, never let go.

The Meaning of Everything

Does everything in life have a meaning to it? You are taught, depending on your religion, that everything that happens to you have some sort of religious, magical overall deeper meaning to it. Is this true or do some things just happen because of sheer stupidity. But on the defense of that, someone may argue that it is God or whoever you believe in, that gives us the strength to face the world and the ideas to succeed in it. So which is it?

Many things have happened to me in the last two weeks that has really made me think about life in general. A lot has to do with a lost love. If you do not let go of love is it really lost forever, or just waiting for the right moment to creep up on you and sweep you off your feet? Is waiting for that just going to be a let down when it does not happen the way you want it to, or just does not happen at all? How are you to know if working on a love is worth it? Should you just keep trying until you are emotionally drained and cannot make the effort anymore? Or should you, as Dr. Phil would say, "teach people how to treat you" and not be lenient to some things

These questions pose an even harder question in my mind, Stay or Leave? Any advise would be well appreciated, I have ran out of ideas and patience.

A long time.....

I know its been awhile since I've written last, but everything has been crazy.

Today is the anniversary of September 11, 2001. On this day a great disaster hit the American people, on our own land. People were lost and families were left alone. I still, to this day, pray for the families who lost loved ones. Also, pray for the troops we have overseas, that they will be returned to their friends and families safely. Don't forget to also keep the victims of the latest disasters in your prayers.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

In case you haven't caught on, it's my birthday today!! I am officially 19. So really nothing has changed. I'm just kind of in limbo between 18 and 21, so really i'm just waiting. in any case, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!!!!

AGGRIVATION

The past week really has been nothing but aggrivation within my life. My new relationship was going well and I was happy, wow how many times did I say WAS in that sentence. Its hard when you start dating someone that you have known for many, many years and have been their best friend forever. You know how they are and what they do and if you don't date someone who does those things how do you put up with them continuing doing it when you put up with it for so many years as their best friend!! I don't know the answer to this and I don't know how to fix it. I don't want him being "ragged" by his friends but I don't want him to ignore my wishes. I need to find a nice compromise, just not sure what that is yet, if there is one.

Although work is looking up, still stressed about that. I really don't understand why they put so much weight on Selling Protection Agreements and Credit. I understand that it increases profit and customer growth but if I am one of the hardest workers that they have, why should my job be on the line because the customer doesn't want to buy one. I'm in the field to give the customer what they want and avoid what they don't want. I'm not hear to shove it down their throat and have them get aggrivated with me. I think that would lose customer interest. If everytime I go to buy something at Walmart and they annoy me to buy something I don't want, i'm going to avoid going there. Am I alone on this??

Schools going great. I'm almost out of 3rd semester 3/5 of the way to graduation. whooo. Can't wait. Just dragging my feet.

"The same freedom that lets you be who you are lets me be who I am, so unless you are willing to change, don't ask me to."

Gabbing.....

I have been so busy lately, its hard to keep up with anything. I feel like I haven't seen my little neice in forever (ok its only been like a week, but to me thats forever!!!). I've been on the search with my best friend for wedding shoes, any suggestions I would love to hear them. Although if I never see another white pair of shoes if will be too soon!!

I have had many dates and most of them sucked!!! Ok, I'll give them credit, it was good movies somewhat. But after one date I am not considered yours, so they have no right to Stalk me right?!! But everything is looking up. I'm becoming more and more happy with my job, or maybe just the people! And my dating life is looking up. Who knew one of your very best friends may be the one you were looking for? O-well we will see where it goes from here.

I'm getting ready to go to Illinios to my Dads wedding. A little nervous about that just because I haven't seen my dads fiance, We've been e-mailing and talking on the phone from time to time but its still not the same as seeing each other in person. And I haven't seen my Grandmother Stare in forever. I don't even remember what she looks like. So it should be interesting. I do have a comfort zone thought, my best friend is going with me, thank God!!

Gotsa get back to legal research

"Never regret anything you have done, look ahead with excitement of what you might do and learn from the past. You may not be able to change the past but you can mold the future into what you want."

Financial Ruin

I like working, it keeps me busy and helps me to get my mind off of things that I don't want to think about. Although with the recent paycheck, I think I'd rather think about my whole world falling apart. I'm losing hours at work and losing patience with them also. I really do love the people I work with but I need to get more hours on my schedule. I really want to wait it out and see if they are going to bring them up anymore.

I'm going to get my new cell this weekend. Its awesome and the salesman that i'm getting it from is freaking gorgous!!!! I swear he is a God that was put on this Earth so we can just look at him. So we will see where that goes. My guess: probably no where, but a girl can dream.

Think.....

The time it takes for you to judge someone by their skin color, size, gender, or just appearance you could be getting to know what they have on the inside.

What I miss

While I like my life, there is a lot that I am missing. A lot of my friends that I have before graduation. The sleepovers we used to have over at Amandas that always turned into a wild night. The feeling of having that one person that you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Being able to see the one guy friend you had that could cheer you up no matter what you were down about.

All these things are priceless. I now hear all the high school kids talk about how they can't wait until school is out. I just want to stop time for them so they can appreciate what they have. I heard everyone tell me how much I would miss high school when its out, needless to say that I denied it. No matter how much drama we all in high school, we lived and if I had the chance to go back, I'd do it all again.

If you have the kind of love that can go through anything and suvive, the kind when you can both be in the room, say nothing and you still know everything is ok, the kind that stops your heart not matter how long you've been together, Hold onto it. Its not something to play around with. It comes along once in a lifetime.

Knowing What you Have.

I think that everyone should take at least 10 minutes out of their day to think. Just sit by themselves and think about what they have been given in their lives. In todays world its so hectic and crowded we forget to be thankful for what we have been blessed with. I know that I get on here and talk alot about what the bad things are that are going on in my life, but I thought that I would take a minute and tell everyone that I do think about the good things. My Family, My best Friends (Candy), Being able to go to school, being able to breath and wake up in the morning.

Just think about what is going right instead of what is going wrong! It will lead to a less stressful you!

When will it stop.......

OK, I admit that I don't have the most hectic life in the world but I also don't have the most energy either. Between work, school and trying to have a social life, it just gets tiring. I've become exausted. I want a vacation but since I'm part-time at work I don't have any vacation time until I've worked there for a year. And school doesn't let me off easy either.

I'm just feeling a little stressed and over worked. No matter how much sleep I get I'm still tired. I tell my doctor and at one point she told me I didn't sleep enough and then she tells me that I sleep too much!! And of course that adds more aggrivation!

WHEN WILL IT END!!!!!!

It may seem like just another quiz out there, but this one may actually be correct. I would try it out, just for curiosity.

In'>http://members.rogers.com/lim.jennifer/green.jpg">
In your eyes, people see life... You see yourself
as just an average person! You enjoy life, love
wildlife, but also enjoy time with those who
know you best. You like to get outdoors and let
your mind wander over all of the mysteries god
gave to you. You don't really have a certain
sanctuary because you're so well-rounded, but
you like having fun and adventures, but can
also be found sitting quietly about, reading a
book. You have a pretty good life ahead of you,
never trade it for anything else :)

What Lies Behind Your Eyes?
brought to you by In'>http://members.rogers.com/lim.jennifer/green.jpg">
In your eyes, people see life... You see yourself
as just an average person! You enjoy life, love
wildlife, but also enjoy time with those who
know you best. You like to get outdoors and let
your mind wander over all of the mysteries god
gave to you. You don't really have a certain
sanctuary because you're so well-rounded, but
you like having fun and adventures, but can
also be found sitting quietly about, reading a
book. You have a pretty good life ahead of you,
never trade it for anything else :)

What Lies Behind Your Eyes?
brought to you by

Friday, March 18, 2005

This should make it easier....

My recent battle with dating has been softened. I took this quiz and I do have to admit that it raised my spirits about myself. And yes I was honest when I took it!!


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Answer

I realize that people are not able to just stop driving. trust me if i did, no school or work. But it just angers me that here they are raising gas prices and the US government is still "considering" raising minimum wage. With the jobs and most of the money going across seas, you begin to wonder how much the government actually cares about the average American.

OUTRAGOUS PRICING!!!

The current gas prices are to say the least rediculous!! Lets think logically here. The more the prices go up, the less traveling people do, the more the ecomony is going to hurt because people aren't going out and spending money. I swear its like they want us to fail as a society.

The more expensive it gets the more my bike its looking really good. I can only image the people in California (spiked to $3.50 a gallon) run their big Hummers on it. If they don't do something soon I'm afraid to think what our society will do!

Dating!!!

Dating has to be the most nerve-racking event that the human species will ever do. The games that are played and the getting to know each other, sometimes I think of it as just a trivial task that someone just made up to torture us. But then you met someone you really think you could like and it makes every thing else ok. The main thing is not to get my hopes up. Everytime I do its like crash and fall. So my plan is to lay low and keep my options open. Wide open!!

Babbling

The current state that takes me into my hybernation would be the constant feeling of being let down by the same people. Why I still deal with these slackers in beyond me. But I guess you live and learn.

Anyway, I'm in my third semester at Rets Tech. Going well. No need for complaining there.

Although my personal life could use a little picking up. While I'm still amused my certain guys lack of knowledge of when a certain girl is coming onto him, I still make a constant effort. we'll find out soon if it is actually worth it. Maybe, Maybe not.

The Unexpected...

Its amazing how you are able to find the best conversations you will ever have in the most unlikely people. I had, I think, to be the best conversation this past New Year's. We had a lot of stuff in common and we just enjoyed each other's company. Of course he has a fiance, so don't go there. But it was still a nice experience.

It kind of restored my faith in mankind. For now at least.